


Loss of Innocence

by strangepeppermint



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:31:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16701709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangepeppermint/pseuds/strangepeppermint
Summary: Lily and the Marauders enter their last year of Hogwarts. As You-Know-Who gains power slowly but surely, these kids have to grow up quickly. Before it's too late.





	1. Chapter 1

The Evans’s died in the early hours of August 13th, 1977. Lily was shattered.

There they sat, the two sisters. They sat and watched as a doctor told them what happened. Lily wasn’t sure if Petunia was paying attention, but she sure wasn’t.

She had known something was terribly wrong when she had ran into the hospital and saw her sister.

Petunia, for the first time in a long while, was silent. 

She did not glare at Lily, or blame her for it, like she did everything else. She had simply told her younger sister, in a quiet, broken voice, that their parents were gone.

The doctors words floated through her haze in pieces. 

Dead on arrival. Nothing they could do.

Lily felt powerless. For the first time since she realized she was a witch, there was nothing she could do to fix this.

A cry from Petunia shook Lily from her spiral and she watched as her sister ran into the arms of a man coming towards them.

“Oh, Vernon, thank god you’re here.” The words were hard to here they were so quiet, but Lily still heard them. And as much as she disliked Vernon, she was happy that her sister had him.

Lily had no one anymore. Not here. This wasn’t her world. It hadn't been for a long, long time.

Her presence wasn’t needed, or wanted. She grabbed her jacket from where she had slung it over the arm of the chair and stood up. Vernon nudged her sister as she walked up to them, and she turned to face Lily, wiping tears from her eyes.

“You’re leaving then?” She asked, her voice filled with poorly concealed grief. Lily nodded.

“I’m going to stay with a friend for the rest of the summer. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Who will you stay with? So I can contact you about the funeral.” She said, leaning into Vernon. Lily ran a nervous hand through her hair and shrugged.

“I’ll call with the address.” She muttered. Both sisters knew she wouldn't call, but would send an owl. But even though Lily was pretty sure Vernon knew what she was, she wasn't certain. And she didn't want to be proved wrong, especially because he already looked at her with such disgust. Perhaps saying she was glad Petunia had him was a bit of an overstatement. 

Both sisters stood looking at each other awkwardly.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” Lily said, turning for the exit. She was surprised to feel Petunia grab her arm to stop her as she passed.

“You…” She seemed to be struggling with the words. “You should come home for Christmas, Lily. I think Mom and Dad would want that.” 

As she looked at the first physical contact that Petunia had initiated in years, Lily knew this opportunity was fragile, and would never come again. This was their one chance to have a relationship. So she nodded, and smiled at Petunia.

“I think they would to.” 

The sisters parted amicably. Not friends yet. But closer than before.

Time blurred, and before she knew it, Lily had paid the cab driver and was standing on the slightly unkempt lawn of her childhood home.

Memories danced in her mind, most from before Hogwarts, but some from Christmas’s and Summer’s since. There were bitter edges to some of them. Petunia’s snide, sometimes outright cruel comments. Severus’s… general presence.

But she could feel the warmth of her parents pride in her as she walked into the house.

The quiet of the house pressed against her ears. She strained to hear the click of her father’s pen as he did the crossword, or the awful soap operas her mother kept permanently on the TV. But there was nothing.

All she could hear was the faint ticking of the grandfather clock in the kitchen.

She had been mulling over the thought of where to go, and she almost gasped when the thought came to her. It hit her like a jolt of lightening.

She took the stairs to her bedroom two at a time and threw the door open, sending her cat, Ringo, into a frenzy.

She muttered an apology to the cat, and ignored his glare as she dug through the piles of paper on her desk. There was old potions homework, Daily Prophets from weeks ago. Letters from all of her friends from Hogwarts. Except for the one she was looking for.

“Come on, come on… A-ha!” She exclaimed, holding the letter under the light triumphantly. 

_REMUS JOHN LUPIN_ , glinted in purple ink.

She dumped the letter contents onto the table, and the fabric covered object clunked onto the desk.

She skimmed the letter, chuckling over Remus’s well meaning complaints that James had been made Head-Boy. At the end of the letter, she found the sentence she was looking for.

_ If you want to come visit this summer, please use the port-key I’ve enclosed. _

Careful not to touch the item, Lily unwrapped it. In it, was a head boy badge.

She pulled her wand out from her inner coat pocket as she left the room. She waved it so that when she came back from her shower, everything was packed.

She pulled on some jeans and a sweater, and quickly braided her wet hair.

Ringo meowed in protest as she picked him up and deposited him into her backpack. It didn’t last long though, as he almost immediately fell asleep in the bag.

Without jostling him, she gently pulled the straps over her shoulders. She put a smaller suitcase under her arm, and grabbed the larger one, leaving a hand free for the portkey.

She took a breath. 

“Brace yourself Ringo.” She said as she picked up the badge. 

As soon as she did, she felt the tight tugging behind her navel as she was pulled through space. 

When reality rebuilt itself around her, she fell to her knees, dropping the bags. She was surprised to feel damp grass under her knees.

Even more surprising was the house she was looking at.

It was the most charming cottage she’d ever seen. Old red brick covered in ivy, an immaculately cared for garden. It seemed to be in the middle of a forest, and Lily hadn’t loved a place so quickly since the first time she walked into Hogwarts.

The fact that the lights were off inside brought her crashing back into reality, even more so than literally doing that seconds before, as she realized what time it was.

“Of course, only you would show up randomly at 3 in the morning. He definitely isn't going to assume something's wrong now…” She muttered this to herself as she climbed to her feet, brushing grass off of her knees.

She realized that she only had two options. Either knock on the door and wake Remus, or wait until he woke up in the morning. Waking him now was somehow the less strange of the 2 options, so she knocked briskly on the front door.

It took a few moments, and another set of knocks, for the inside light to flick on, illuminating the front yard dimly. She could hear irritated muttering on the other side of the door, and she felt bad for being so inconsiderate. Though the shame vanished when the door swung open.

To reveal James Potter.

A very shirtless, very sleepy, James Potter.


	2. Surprise, Surprise

He blinked at the sight of Lily Evans in his doorway. As long as he had known her, he had never seen her this surprised. But there she was, staring at him, mouth hanging open.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked, voice still husky from sleep.

Lily shook herself out of whatever insanity had possessed her. She levelled a glare at James, who she could have sworn looked relieved.

“What are you doing here?” She demanded, her emotional control wearing dangerously thin. She didn’t think she could take much more tonight.

“I live here, Evans, so technically I should be asking you that question.” He said, leaning against the doorway and crossing his eyes. He felt a flash of triumph when he saw Lily’s eyes dart over his body. Until she frowned.

“Are you flexing?” She asked, snorting.

“Oh, shut up.” He snapped, blushing ever so slightly. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Seriously, what are you doing here? And at 3 in the morning?”

“I came to visit Remus.” She said. She looked away from James’s ever intensifying gaze. He tried to meet her eyes, to no avail.

“Is everything alright?” His voice was shockingly tender. It pulled at the ropes that tied her feelings down. She could feel tears rising up. She shook her head violently. Tears were streaming down her face before she knew it.

“Oh Merlin's Beard, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” He said. He cursed his near nakedness, as there was nothing to offer as a tissue. Lily shook her head again and covered her face, blushing scarlett.

“No, no, it’s not you.” She whispered, trying to calm herself. 

Without thought, James pulled her into a hug, tucking her head under his chin. He rubbed her back gently, not knowing what else to do. 

Lily surprised herself and him by not pulling away. He embrace was oddly comforting, and very warm. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back. James forgot how to breathe.

A few seconds passed. Then moments. Until James cleared his throat quietly.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this, but, I really do need to know why you’re here. More specifically how you got here. Because no one is supposed to know the location of this cottage.” He said, pulling away so he could look at her face. She bit her lip nervously, and reached a hand into her pocket. He looked at what he pulled out.

“Oh that bastard. He promised me he didn’t know where it went!” He exclaimed, grabbing the Head Boy badge from her. Lily smiled slightly.

“I’m sorry I had it for so long. If I had known, I would have come earlier to return it.” She said. 

“Wait a second, how long have you had this?” He demanded. She shrugged.

“About a month?” She said, not quite sure. James turned on his heel and stormed into the house, shouting. He very much did not want Lily to start crying again, so he decided the best course of action was to do what he did best.

Make her laugh.

“Remus Lupin! Explain yourself!” He cried. 

Highly amused, and distracted from her ever consuming sadness, Lily eagerly followed James, gazing at the inside of the house wondrously.

It was even more amazing on the inside. The main floor was one large room, with kitchen, dining room, and living room cohabitating the same space, yet intermingling.  couch had been pulled up to the dining table, the dining chairs were strewn throughout the room, and an armchair was on top of the kitchen island. In the darkness, Lily swore she saw a large black dog run from under the table and up the stairs before James. She forgot about it as the chaos grew.

Sirius appeared at the top of the stairs, glaring at James.

“I swear to God, Pro- Lily! What in the world are you doing here?” He asked, coming to her side at once. She grinned widely at the messy headed boy.

“Just saying hi.” She said. 

“She’s lying. REMUS!” He screamed, pounding on a door at the end of the hallway. 

“Jesus, James, are you trying to summon my mother from hell? Because at this rate she can probably hear you!” Sirius cried. Lily laughed once, earning a quick backwards glance from James before he turned back to the now cracked open door.

A very tired, very exasperated scarred face peered out at them.

“Yes, James?” Remus yawned. James shoved his badge under his nose.

“Care to tell me why you decided to use my Head Boy badge as Lily’s portkey?” He asked. Remus excitedly looked passed James. His eyes landed on Lily, then clouded with worry. He came out his room, pushing James aside gently.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” He asked, frowning at her.

She expected the tears to rise up again, but they were easy to control around all of them. She glanced curiously for a moment at James, then turned her attention back to Remus.

“Nothing. Me and Tuna had a fight, is all. So I thought I’d take you up on your offer. Sorry about the late arrival.” She said, wringing her hands nervously. She saw James glance at her hands and she dropped them to her sides. Remus nodded, seeming relieved.

“Ironically you chose the one night that we all aren’t up at 3 in the morning,” Sirius chuckled, slinking back downstairs.

“I feel like I came at a bad time, the house seems pretty full.” She said. James smirked.

“It’s been like this all summer.” He said. Lily frowned at Remus.

“You and Sirius have been here the whole time?” She asked. He nodded.

“And Peter!” Sirius called from the other floor. Lily’s eyes widened.

“And Peter? Where do you all fit?” 

“Remus is in my room, Sirius in the guest bedroom, Peter is in the office on a conjured bed and I am on the couch in the dining room.” James said, ticking everyone off on his fingers. Lily frowned.

“So there isn’t room for me is there?” She asked, trying not to feel disappointed. She had shown up unannounced afterall.. James opened his mouth to respond, but Remus interrupted him.

“Sirius can bunk with me, James, before you offer to sleep in a tent in the backyard.”   Remus said quickly. 

"You guys don't have to do that, really. It'd be so cramped." Lily said. Remus shook his head. 

"Don't worry about it, Sirius doesn't take up much space." He said. James chuckled and muttered something. 

All Lily could catch was 'end of the bed'. Remus laughed outright. James turned back to Lily. 

"So there, it's all settled. You'll stay in the guest room!" He said, gesturing to a door on the other side of the hallway. "Your stuff is probably already in there. My mom was a master charmer, and created a lot of unique hospitality spells."

Lily opened the door to the room. James was right, her stuff was there. She turned back towards the two boys still lingering in the hallway. She smiled at James. 

"Thank you. Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience." She said. Sirius appeared again and laughed once.

"Lily, I don't think you could inconvenience him if you tried."

She could feel herself blushing. James sighed loudly. 

"Thank you for that, Sirius." He said, running a hand through his hair. Sirius walked into Remus's room, clapping James on the shoulder as he passed. He yelled goodnight to Lily. Remus yawned. 

"I should go back to sleep too. You too, James." He said pointedly. The look he gave him had meaning that Lily couldn't decipher. 

James smiled softly.

"Thanks, Moony. Goodnight." He said. Remus hugged Lily goodnight, and followed Sirius, shutting the door behind him. 

Lily had been so consumed with herself that she hadn't noticed how tired the boys had looked. 

“He’s right. You should sleep. I’m sorry for showing up in the middle of the night. I’ll try not to make it a habit.” She joked. James laughed softly.

“It’s a bad habit. But you don’t need to apologize. At the risk of sounding like a sap, Sirius is right. You’ll never be an inconvenience to me.” He said this so casually that Lily almost missed the raw sincerity simmering beneath the certain. Lily nodded, and hugged her elbows.

“I’ll say thank you then. And goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight, Evans. Sweet dreams.”


End file.
